There are two ways in which men and women see relationships: idealistic and pragmatic.
Seeing relationships with idealism means “believing” in love. An example would be a self-made man who chooses to marry his long-time girlfriend who believed in him from the get go, despite now being successful and able to get younger and hotter girls.
Pragmatism on the other hand means seeing relationships as purely transactional. What do men have to offer? Money. What do women have to offer? sex.
As you can imagine this isn’t black and white, BUT from my observations there IS a point where both men and women cross the pragmatism threshold and never come back. This time we’ll look into how women usually do it. I’m not talking about getting smart about what they ask for, but rather about how they get jaded.
How Women Become Jaded
In general, what women want in a relationship is feeling genuine desire for a man. The challenge is not in getting him to sleep with her, but rather in getting him to stick around.
There are 3 mechanisms to “lock him in”: sex, marriage and kids.
Most men are NOT players. The average man simply doesn’t have the mental bandwidth required to entertain multiple women as he’s too busy working multiple jobs to make ends meet. This is why the promise of consistent, effortless sex is so alluring to him.
Marriage is a contract where if you try to walk out you lose 50% of your assets. And kids, well, who’s gonna walk out on kids other than a deadbeat father?
The low-end woman gets jaded about relationships when she sees men using her for her body and then disappear. This is entirely her fault. She was the one who allowed men to do with her as she pleased in an effort to lock them in and failed. The more she does this, the more of a “hoe” reputation she gets and the harder it’ll be for her to keep a man, which in turns confirms her jaded beliefs that “men only want one thing”.
The high-end woman on the other hand gets jaded when she goes “all-in” for a man and gets burned. An example of this would be a girl who turns 33 and gets dumped, after betting on her boyfriend’s potential for the past 10 years. This is not her fault. She acted with idealism and the guy didn’t matched it, now she’s lost her youth, the majority of her eggs and the dream of being a SAHM.
I don’t have any sympathy for the low-end woman. She f*cked around (literally) and found out. But the high-end woman, it’s so… sad, seeing a cheerful, happy girl get disenchanted about love, specially at an age where getting a second shot becomes more difficult by the day.
I’ve seen 3 scenarios:
- Girl in her late 20s has been in a long-term relationship with the man she intends to marry, the guy gets cold feet, they break up, and she starts vetting HARD for a guy who will give her a ring in 1 year max.
- Girl marries young, has 2-3 kids and ~5 good years of marriage until the guy cheats and she ends up being a single mom who for some reason gets obsessed about career progression and/or starting a business.
- Girl who gives her whole 20s to a guy who ends up trading her for a younger model when he gets rich.
The common train of thought is:
Alright, I acted on good faith and got burned. This happened to me because I freely gave him everything I had to offer thinking that he was gonna appreciate it and reward me for it. Guess that’s not how men work. On top of it, I’m about to turn 30, the only men that still want to take me out on dates and entertain me are the nerds I rejected in high school and college. Oh well if I can’t get true love (feel genuine desire) at least I’ll get MONEY. I’m just a set of holes for men, so why can’t they be a wallet for me?
Sadly, once these girls get jaded there’s no coming back. My recommendation is avoiding them and let simps wife them up. The only girl worth getting in a long-term relationship with is a girl who still believes in love and gives herself freely to you.
Unless you want to be treated as an ATM of course.
New readers:
In my twitter account and on my blog I tell you what to do. In my books, I tell you how to do it:
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