Whenever something worries me, I put on paper the positive scenario and the negative scenario. I calculate the odds of each scenario happening, and then I write down the concrete steps I would take to fix the worst-case scenario. This process gives me tranquility first because it shows me that the negative scenario is much less probable to occur and second because even if it happens, there’s always something I can do to better the situation.
Defining the nightmare
This is something I learned from Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour Workweek, fear is paralyzing when it has an abstract form, put it on paper and you’ll be able to see it clearly. To define the negative scenario, don’t hold back on anything you write down (no one will see it but you anyway).
Coming up with a plan
Now that the worst-case scenario is defined, try to think you are in that situation already. What do you do now that you’re there? would you consider abortion? would she consider abortion? would you raise the kid together? would you have to pay child-support? would you disappear? would you be able to go on knowing you left your kid fatherless and basically ruined this girl’s life by making her a single mom?
All those are though questions. But push through, and write up logistics as specifically as possible. Remember to consider the laws in your country: in the US abortion is legal and child-support is mandatory. In Mexico abortion is illegal (except in Mexico City) and child-support is not mandatory.
Note: I’m not promoting any kind of action, these are just questions you need to have an answer to.
After writing the negative scenario and specific steps and logistics to better the situation, write the positive scenario.
Calculating the odds
In theory, girls can only get pregnant during their fertility window, that is, 24 hours after she ovulates and the 5 days prior (because sperm lives up to 5 days inside a girl’s uterus). Since you can’t know the exact day, most period tracking apps offer a fertility window of when she may have ovulated. I recommend using the app Flo.
If you used a condom, the odds of the positive scenario (not pregnant) is 98% and the odds of the negative scenario (her getting pregnant) is 2%
Stack all probabilities on top of each other, for example get the odds of the negative scenario like this: condom (0.02) * pull out (0.22) where 1 is 100% of probability.
Pondering the scenarios and stretching your mind
After spending some time thinking about the negative scenario, it’s only fair to spend the same amount of time thinking about the positive scenario and how free and calm you would feel. Additionally, as you saw in the previous step, the odds are in your favor.
Testing for a pregnancy
The only way to truly calm down your nerves is taking a pregnancy test. If you or the girl are feeling resistance, think about it this way: if there’s nothing to worry about, you want to know as soon as possible so you can stop worrying. If there’s something to worry about, you want to know as soon as possible so that you can start take taking action to better the situation as soon as you can.
Blood pregnancy test
The most reliable way to test if a girl is pregnant is a blood pregnancy test using the quantitative method. If the girl is indeed pregnant, this test will tell you how many weeks have passed (it starts counting from the first day of her last cycle, meaning the last time she started bleeding). If the girl is not pregnant, then it will show that levels of the hormone the tests was looking for are not detectable.
This test requires a visit to a lab to get the blood extracted and the only prep is not eating 4 hours prior.
Home pregnancy test
Another less reliable test is the home pregnancy test (pee on a stick) but if you go this route, make sure the girl takes 2 tests: one first thing in the morning and one at night. This because home pregnancy test are prone to giving false negatives
If the test says negative at night, it may be because the girl has been drinking a lot of fluids, diluting the hormone that the test is looking for and provoking a false negative
If the test says negative first thing in the morning, it may be because the hormone concentration is so high that it ends up surpassing the threshold and provoking a false negative. This is common when the girl is pregnant with twins, in that scenario, a test at night will turn out positive, because the hormone concentration is lower thanks to being diluted with other fluids taken during the day.
If both tests give a negative result, then the girl is not pregnant. If any of them give a positive result, then you should take a blood pregnancy test using the quantitative method.
Free guide: You can download my free guide “10 Topics to talk about with a girl after saying Hi” if you don’t have it yet by going here
New Readers: If you’re just starting your journey, you should read Live Intentionally: Discipline, Mindset, Direction – A 90 Day Self-Project. The basis of attracting beautiful women is becoming a high value man and you can’t become one if you’re full of bad habits. Live Intentionally teaches you exactly how to weed them out and become the best version of yourself. This is the first step towards a life of abundance, your foundation.
Photo Credits: Nik Shuliahin