AKA how to get out of the friendzone.
I’ve been there, endlessly pining over a girl who is always nice but never available for a date. Patiently waiting to take a shot, living for accidental touches and short-lived flirting moments while looking at her pictures every day.
If you’re in this situation, which has become increasingly common, let me tell you that there’s a way out, but it’s not gonna be easy.
How To Make A Girl Like You More Than A Friend
The first step is admitting you got a problem, and that problem is called “oneitis“.
This means you are infatuated with one girl and you don’t even consider other options, even if she has a boyfriend or dates other guys. This is not healthy behavior, you need to understand that first.
It’s completely normal to be attracted by multiple girls, you’re a man after all! you are attracted to women the same way women are attracted to men, there’s nothing wrong with following your nature.
So the first thing you’re gonna do is start talking to more girls. Doesn’t matter who, or even if you’re not attracted to them, just talk to 1 girl every day about anything, could be a compliment or how busy the coffee shop is, or the weather, doesn’t matter. The point is to show your mind that there are more girls out there.
Even if you somehow manage to make this girl your girlfriend, you need to drop the oneitis, otherwise you’re gonna lose her fast. This doesn’t mean you’ll cheat on her, it only means you don’t “need” her. Remember that girls find neediness repulsive and it’s a major cause of breakups.
Trying to date a girl who put you in the friendzone is a bad idea. It’s objectively better that you focus on other girls, but if you’re 200% stubborn and want the best shot at dating her, we’ll explore your course of action.
- Get in shape. This is the most important step, she sees you as a friend because she doesn’t see you as a sexual being, and that doesn’t happen to guys who look hot. It only happens to guys who are overweight or too skinny, the same way we don’t see fat chicks as sexual beings. You don’t have to get obsessed with the gym but you do have to lose the extra weight.
- Get clothes that fit. They don’t need to be costly, they just have to fit your body well. While you’re at it, drop the graphic t-shirts, go with either a solid color or a classy pattern, preferably v-neck, polos or shirts, not crew neck.
- Groom well. Build a skin-care routine, get a nice haircut, grow a beard (if you can’t, use this, it works, you’ll need the serum and a derma roller, nothing more but it’ll take more time than advertised, for me it was 6 months. Also if you don’t use the derma roller it won’t work, or maybe it just takes way more time).
- Have fun. Yes, really. Your hobby has been staring at this girl’s photos for a while and that’s kinda boring. You need to find something fun to do both at the individual level (say, learn how to play guitar) and on a social level (say, start going on hike trips or photo trips). Also it wouldn’t hurt if you socialized more often, build a social circle if it fits your personality or simply do daygame or nightgame to get out.
As you can see, I’m advising you to improve two parts: looks and social. We won’t focus on money, that’s a separate part of your life that you should have sorted out, if you haven’t, fix that first! you can focus on girls later.
So once you have increased your value and have taken good steps in curing your oneitis, it’s time to be direct with the girl.
The Point Of No Return
You knew from the start that this was coming. In order to get out of the friendzone you’re gonna have to be direct and tell this girl what you want. You’re gonna ask her out on a date, not a “friend date”, but a date, between a man and a woman that could lead to sex, a relationship, etc.
There are two things that can happen when you ask her: either she accepts or she doesn’t. There’s no middle-ground, if you don’t get an explicit “YES” then it’s a no.
Many girls will try to give excuses or make it sound like they want to but “not now”. It’s bullshit. They want to keep you trapped in the friendzone. But for you there’s no going back, either she says yes or she says no.
If she says no, don’t fret. Now she knows that you want her and that you won’t sit around in the friendzone waiting for her to change her mind. You gotta use dread game here, the perception that she may miss out on something great if she doesn’t act.
You’re gonna keep getting hotter, more popular and obviously crushing it money-wise, ideally you make some (international) trips and learn a new language, and of course, you’ll be flirting with new girls every day.
Now, you gotta understand that for some girls you’ll never be good enough, doesn’t matter how much you improve. To that I say they can go f*ck themselves, you now have more than enough options and you’re presenting them the best version of you.
You got out of the friendzone, one way or another.
The book I recommend you this week is “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover. Guys with advanced knowledge in game may already know most of the advice given there, but if the advice given in this article was helpful to you, I assure you this book has advice you can use to get out of the friendzone for good.
My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here.
My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
“Introvert Game” is a guide that will help you attain a deeper understanding of your personality as an introvert and figuring out how to seduce women by playing to your strengths rather than trying to swim upstream using guides designed for extroverts. You can buy it Here.
Photo Credits: Allef Vinicius