Most guys commit to the most beautiful/hot girl they can get without giving much thought to anything else.
Some guys with experience also vet for a pleasant personality once they’ve been burned a few times by crazy, aggressive or jealous girls and understand that this is an important part of how your life together will be.
And sure, there’s a lot of green flags one can look out for but in my opinion, there’s one that tops them all.
This means that she’s able to suppress the negative parts of her nature in order to achieve a higher goal down the line.
One example where restraint in a woman is constructive is with hypergamy. Yes, all women are subject to the influence of hypergamy but there’s a huge difference between women who fulfill this need in a constructive manner and those who fulfill it in a destructive manner:
Hypergamy makes a woman attracted to the top guy in the room.
A woman with restraint will focus on locking down the commitment of the highest-value man she can and if fleeting temptations come along she’ll ignore them.
A woman without restraint is a slave to her fleeting emotions and lowest instincts.
Let’s say a hypothetical girl has a boyfriend who is on the path to success: he has a good career, a nice side business, is in shape, is socially good calibrated and in one or two years he’ll propose to her. Suddenly a tattooed, ex-con biker with three different baby-mommas approaches her and is incredibly charming. What happens next?
Well, this new guy is definitely capable of violence, probably has a crazy back story and is preselected, so a lot of girls will find him attractive (as weird as that sounds to most men), hypergamy kicks in.
The woman without restraint sleeps with him without a second thought. In her brain if she feels attraction, then that’s her truth and it must mean *something*. She’s a slave to her lowest instincts.
The woman with restraint knows her brain is wired to find this kind of guys attractive, but also that 1) they won’t commit to her and 2) they aren’t going anywhere in life. In her heart of hearts she may feel some kind of sexual attraction but just because she feels this low instinct doesn’t mean she’ll act on it. It would be as if she was trying to quit alcohol and someone offered her a drink. Sure, she would feel the small desire of cheap dopamine, but if she’s smart she wouldn’t think twice about removing herself from that scenario. Overall she’s hypergamous going for a winner in life, and ignores distractions on the way.
Restraint applies to:
- Diet: fast food
- Vices: alcohol, smoking
- Shopping “therapy”
- Need for a bigger house to impress neighbors
- Need to vomit all her emotional stress on you
As you can see, restraint is the cornerstone of good behavior for a woman. For the long-term you want a woman who is wholesome and constructive, not a slave to vices.
My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here.
My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
“Introvert Game” is a guide that will help you attain a deeper understanding of your personality as an introvert and figuring out how to seduce women by playing to your strengths rather than trying to swim upstream using guides designed for extroverts. You can buy it Here.
Photo Credits: priscilladupreez