There are two areas we need to take care of in order to attract girls: Excitement and Comfort.
Excitement refers to all things seduction: being hot, teasing her, danger, adrenaline, one night stands, nightclubs, parties, that sort of things.
Comfort on the other side refers to all things commitment: being her boyfriend, giving her flowers, doing daytime activities like riding bikes together or long walks in the park.
Most mainstream relationship advice online focuses on comfort, but in this post I’ll explain why you need to understand both.
First of all, why things are the way they are?
Most mainstream relationship advice online focuses on comfort because it’s written either by women or by simps in dead bedroom boring relationships.
In the case of women, they focus on comfort because that’s the part that most alphas lack: they come in, f*ck her brains out and then leave, so these girls try to “educate” them in what they would like better (that they stay).
In the case of simps, they focus on comfort simply because they don’t know any better. They think they’re special because they give lots of gifts to girls and always remember the special dates and that alphas are dumb for forgetting about anniversaries, etc.
What’s the actual way this works?
All girls want excitement. All of them. All. of. them.
The lives of most girls are boring AF, which is why they turn to men for excitement.
Women like men because they act like men: they compete to see who’s strongest, quickest, most precise, they do dangerous (and fun) stuff like air maneuvers in a motorcycle, they tell (actually) good jokes, they go deep in interesting topics and give women fleeting nights of passion. All women live for this.
The only function of comfort is reassuring the girl that you actually like her and that you’ll stick around. All the flowers you gave her? it’s just a promise that you won’t leave her because you’re in love with her enough to spend your hard-earned money on some dumb flowers. That small souvenir you got her on your last trip that she loved because you “thought of her”? same, it’s reassurance that you focus on her and not on other girls. That’s literally the only point of comfort.
So betas keep reassuring girls they won’t leave. Over and over and over and over.
The girl thinks “Ok, you won’t leave, I understand. But how will you entertain me while you’re here?”
This is something betas can’t understand. They think they’re making the girl feel “something” when they give her a box of chocolates. Sure, they’re making her comfortable but where’s the excitement? too much comfort with 0 excitement means one thing: BOREDOM.
What to do?
Focusing only on comfort is what earns you the title of “beta”, which means commitment-oriented. It doesn’t mean you’re low-value or a bad person or dumb, it just means focused on commitment (comfort).
If that’s you, you need to incorporate some excitement , which is alpha behavior and leads to SEX. “Alpha” means seduction-oriented, not “better man”, not “leader of the tribe” or any of that. It means you focus on EXCITEMENT.
Now, too much excitement with 0 comfort is how PUAs drive away girls. Girls get scared by thinking they’re just being used for their bodies because there’s no guarantee the guy will stick around. This terrifies girls which is why a level of comfort is required too.
This is why you need to understand both parts: you won’t get any sex if you’re not exciting and girls won’t stick around if they’re not comfortable around you. You need to balance both of this parts to get whatever it is that you want from girls: heavier on the excitement side for casual sex buddies and heavier on comfort side for girlfriends.
New readers: My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here. My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
Photo Credits: alexpadurariu