FWB: Friends with benefits. That is, having sex with a girl on a regular basis without being a couple. If this is the first time you’re hearing the term, you’re probably thinking “wait… that sounds awesome! but do girls actually accept that sort of arrangement?”
Yes they do, the only thing they ask of you is to not treat them romantically. For some reason girls see sex as less intimate than being in a relationship, so what they fear is either you or her falling in love and then getting hurt due to the natural dynamic of being friends with benefits. In short: if you only want sex, don’t treat her like a girlfriend.
Something similar is the rotation: it’s quite common for guys who can date regularly in the 8 range to keep a few 7s around just for sex. They’re pretty enough to have sex with on the regular, but if the guy can get something better why would he commit to one of them?
But the rotation is a topic for another post. For now, let’s get into how to get a FWB
Unlocking FWB status
The key to unlocking FWB status is: looks.
Think about it, what do women want with a man that is rich but fat and old? they want him to buy her things. Consequently, what do women want from a good-looking man even if he has no money? the same thing you want with a good-looking woman that is a cashier, and what you don’t want with a fat, old woman even if she just won a Nobel prize.
You can unlock FWB status with a friend you’ve known for a while, but it’s better to focus on new girls, since you can be clear from the beginning. It goes like this:
- You have one or several dates until you have sex with her for the first time. Don’t take her to dates during the day, that is, to ride bicycles, feed ducks, etc. Take her out during the night only (1-2 hr coffee dates between real dates to build comfort is fine).
- After the first time you have sex with her, *some* girls will ask you right then and there what your intentions are (the two options are “relationship” or “casual”)… answer “casual”, no fear. If she’s onboard, you just got yourself a FWB.
- If the girl doesn’t bring the “What are your intentions” talk, try to escalate every time you go out with her and she’ll eventually bring it up.
- Now, since you both agreed on things being casual, talking about sex will become much easier and casual, and eventually you’ll be setting up “dates” with her where you’ll only go to her house or bring her to yours to have sex and then say good bye.
Old friends (if you really want to)
If you *really* want to be FWB with an existing friend, your only option is becoming hotter. There’s a reason why she didn’t saw you that way before, which automatically puts you in the friendzone as of now. (It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an orbiter, but she definitely doesn’t see you as a sexual being)
The process is slow and it may turn out weird if you make a move before she’s ready. Invite her to go out, but I would say that in this scenario it’s best if she makes the first move or if you triple check that she’s giving you Indicators of interest.
Keep a FWB arrangement
Most guys screw it up by treating their FWB like a girlfriend. The girl gets the wrong idea, she develops feelings and pushes for a relationship. Then they either become a couple or someone gets hurt and the arrangement is over.
Don’t do that, keep things casual and have fun. If she pushes for a relationship, remind her that you’ve always been clear that you wanted to keep things casual. Be ready to let her go at any moment, casual relationships are a two-way street where either party gets to leave at any moment they want.
Free guide: You can download my free guide “10 Topics to talk about with a girl after saying Hi” if you don’t have it yet by going here
New Readers: If you’re just starting your journey, you should read Live Intentionally: Discipline, Mindset, Direction – A 90 Day Self-Project. The basis of attracting beautiful women is becoming a high value man and you can’t become one if you’re full of bad habits. Live Intentionally teaches you exactly how to weed them out and become the best version of yourself. This is the first step towards a life of abundance, your foundation.
Photo Credits: Womanizer WOW Tech