Every man has seen the negative effects of opening up to a woman.
Girls nag their boyfriends and husbands endlessly about opening up, but once they do, girls punish them harshly for doing so, in the shape of losing attraction, walking out of the relationship or even cheating.
What gives?
The irony is that, I do think girls are doing the right thing at some level. Let’s figure out what’s going on.
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Why Girls Ask You To Open Up About Your Feelings?
Conventional wisdom would have you believe that girls do this as a shit test: if you open up, you lose because girls don’t like men who cry, and you believing it’s ok to open up when she tells you it’s ok to open up communicate that you don’t “get it”.
That explanation is fine, but I have a more nuanced one.
It is my opinion that girls ask you to open up about your feelings expecting you to actually open up about your feelings but finding little to none of them inside.
Confusing? yes, a little bit, let’s explain this with the female equivalent:
When you say you like girls who don’t wear makeup, you don’t mean you like girls who look like a rotting zombie who slept 3 hours yesterday, you mean “I like girls who can afford to not wear makeup and still look good“. She’s not more appealing just because she isn’t wearing makeup. The appeal is in the fact that she doesn’t need the enhancements.
The same way, when girls say they like men who open up about their feelings they don’t mean they like men who cry. They mean “I like men who can afford to not bottle up their feelings because they naturally have so few“. You’re not more appealing just because you’re opening up to her. The appeal is in the fact that even when you open up, you’re not hopeless, directionless or afraid, you’re in control.
Does this mean she wants you to be a psychopath (inability to feel)?
No. All I’m saying is that bottling up your feelings is a workaround, not a solution. By asking you to “open up”, girls are actually pushing you to do the internal hard work so many men desperately need.
Some may be frustrated they’re not living up to their highest potential, but since actually living to their highest potential is too much work, they opt for bottling up all that frustration. The thing is that this frustration WILL leak out. And these instances will alert girls who are paying attention.
They certainly are a red flag in a man. Think about it: would you want to stay with a girl who was slim when you met her but over time got fat and now she’s become a bitter bitch who constantly criticizes girls with slim bodies out of envy while making 0 effort to improve her situation? Hell no! or at least I hope you wouldn’t entertain the idea of staying.
This is the same. Men who refuse to do the work start becoming unpleasant the same way the fat girl became unpleasant for refusing to do the work required to improve her situation and fix her feelings.
Refusing to open up is the same as a girl refusing to let you see her without makeup. But also, opening up and vomiting on her all your insecurities is the equivalent of her removing her makeup and you realizing she’s actually hideous.
The good news is that while girls play on the physical realm, men play on the mental realm, meaning that you CAN change your situation, you just have to do the work. Girls who were born ugly can’t become pretty no matter what they do.
So, fix your shit. Remember, people who don’t have anything to hide are not afraid to show their true self:
New readers:
In my twitter account and on my blog I tell you what to do. In my books, I tell you how to do it:
My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here.
My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
My third book, “Guide to Date Latinas” will teach you how to meet, date and sleep with latinas, their psychology and specific quirks. It has all the insights you need to find latinas in your country, safely visit Latin America and relocating for the long-term if you choose to do so. You can get it Here.
“Introvert Game” is a guide that will help you attain a deeper understanding of your personality as an introvert and figuring out how to seduce women by playing to your strengths rather than trying to swim upstream using guides designed for extroverts. You can buy it Here.
If you’re ready to make a real change in your dating life, book a one-hour call with me Here