This is something every man has wondered at some point in their life.
Why would a girl go for a dude who treats her badly instead of going for a guy who treats her like a queen? that’s some 69 IQ decision making right there, specially if the first guy peaks in high school and after that he’ll spend 40 hours a week earning minimum wage and the rest of the time getting wasted in dive bars reminiscing the good ol’ high school days.
Well, the reason is actually quite simple.
Why Girls Like Assholes
It’s about hypergamy. A woman can only fall for a guy that she sees as above him. Now pay attention to the wording “A woman can only fall for a guy she *SEES* as above him”, this implies that reality doesn’t matter, what matters is the girl’s PERCEPTION.
It’s not that girls like assholes BECAUSE they are assholes, it’s just that many assholes don’t let girls treat them like doormats.
Actually, most of the times assholes treat girls like doormats. If the girl allows it, this confirms (in her mind) that she is below him, fulfilling the basic requirement of hypergamy: that he is above her.
Contrast this with the guy who treats her like a queen. If she treats him like a doormat and he allows it, in her mind, this confirms she is above him. This establishes a simple hierarchy in her mind: nice guys < me < assholes.
She thinks that if a guy is putting so much effort into winning her over, 1) she must be above him, breaking the basic requirement of hypergamy and 2) he doesn’t have other options. “Why bother?” is the key question here. Why would a guy who has other options dying to sleep with him bother putting so much effort into her, who other guys treat like trash?
This is quite the heart breaking scenario in high school, where guys are just starting to like one girl and then do all kind of romantic gestures just to smash against a wall when the girl who has already experienced several older guys treating her like trash send them to the bottom of the hierarchy due to their inexperience and pure intentions.
What to do about it?
The solution isn’t becoming an asshole. As we saw earlier, the attractiveness is not in treating girls badly, but rather in not allowing them to treat you like a doormat and in behavior that implies you are above them.
We are not gonna say it out loud, that is the worst possible way of getting your point across, it’ll only make you sound like an incel (example here).
So, if you can’t use overt communication… we’re gonna use covert communication of course!
First, don’t let them send you to the bottom of the hierarchy:
- If a girl says she just sees you as a friend, walk out. You’re not gonna give free time, attention and money to some random chick that gives you nothing. This implies you respect yourself.
- Don’t immediately agree with her on everything. Having your own opinions implies you are not walking on eggshells around her, which implies you are not afraid of losing her if something you say offends her.
- Tell her no when she tries to get you to do something for her for free, for example her homework. If some girl actually tries to pull this off it means that she has seen you as beneath her for a long time, it should serve as a signal that you need to steer the boat in the right direction ASAP.
Now, to establish your position on top:
- Tease her. This is how you let her know that you are not afraid of losing her. Not agreeing on her opinions is level 1 and this is level 2.
- Get checked out by other girls. You being physically attractive to girls you don’t interact with (total strangers) is a major turn on for girls who do interact with you. How do you achieve this? get in the gym, eat well, sleep well, dress well.
- Lift them up. Like, literally. No girl will feel like disrespecting you if you can hold her whole weight in your arms. Obviously don’t go doing this with random girls on the street, but if a challenge to bench press a girl ever comes up… you want to be ready. When you get more experience you can do it randomly and girls will love it.
New readers:
My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here.
My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
“Introvert Game” is a guide that will help you attain a deeper understanding of your personality as an introvert and figuring out how to seduce women by playing to your strengths rather than trying to swim upstream using guides designed for extroverts. You can buy it Here.
Photo Credits: Clem Onojeghuo