Most men are blissfully unaware of the significant issues in their relationship until the woman can’t take it anymore and walks out.
This seems sudden, irrational and extreme but the truth is that most of the times issues have been piling up for a looong time with the man thinking everything worked out fine after every argument is solved.
No it didn’t.
Why She Broke Up With You
In simple words: because she thinks she can get something better.
You can spin it, rationalize it or word it however you want, but that’s the tl;dr. Everyone gets dumped for that reason, both men and women because everyone wants the best deal they can get.
At a basic level hypergamy is easy to understand, would a girl rather date:
- Socially anxious, fatty, broke boy her same age
- Trust fund baby with abs a few years older who happens to be the soul of the party
2, obviously.
And this gets lots of guys railing, but it shouldn’t. Because that’s how we choose girls too, albeit we take into consideration different traits and we don’t monkey branch (start dating the next person before breaking up with the current one).
Who would you rather date:
- Overweight single mother over 30 with anger management issues who has sucked half the city’s cocks
- 21 yo virgin who is in shape, dresses modestly and is shy and pleasant.
2, obviously.
#1 in both scenarios are terrible deals, why would you take them unless you couldn’t get something better?
And yet people take these kind of deals all the time. Why? because they can’t get something better! guys who are f*ck ups date girls who are f*ckups and vice versa. They do it because they think it’s a better alternative to being alone.
But there are two scenarios when these deals break
Scenario #1:
One of you increases his/her value so much that it becomes a deal breaker.
Whoever increases his/her value too much, will most of the times break up with the other or hurt them so much that the other will opt to leave.
In the case of men, this usually happens when they “make it”. For example, The Wolf of Wallstreet was married to his first wife (a 6-7 max) as a student and as an entry-level employee, but as he started getting rich as owner of his company, he started seeking more attractive women. The difference in mindset and lessons learned after such an herculean effort probably played a role, but at its core, the issue was that their value was impaired.
Many, many, many men opt for cheating instead of breaking up (which some may argue is worse) and when the gf/wife finds out, she’s so heartbroken that she ends the relationship.
In the case of women, things are slower, and a bit more abstract. One time she notices a guy slightly more attractive than you smiling at her. Then another one is super nice to her after a discussion she just had with you. Over time she starts thinking that she never explored her true potential, so she starts working out. You’ve never seen her so determined and she’s making incredible leaps forward. You feel like the luckiest guy in the world “Hey, my girl got this sudden obsession with the gym, omg she’s starting to look so hot”.
And one day she suddenly checks out of the relationship for good.
Turns out she’s been sleeping with a guy who is much richer and more muscular than you, and he’s her new bf. Did he stole her away from you? nah mate. She was looking to upgrade, and the next level accepted her.
Oh, in modern times this may also happen if she gets a promotion at work. Unlike men she’s not gonna start thinking that with extra money she can give her family a better future, but rather start wondering if her husband is still good enough for her. With stable (ish) income she doesn’t have to monkey branch, she can check out now and find a better mate later.
Scenario #2:
One of you decreases his/her value so much that it becomes a deal breaker.
In the case of men, this happens when they notice younger girls are attracted to them even in their 30s, 40s or even 50s because while looks faded, income and power probably increased.
Their wives are now bitter land whales yelling every day for no reason. Divorce would most certainly rekt them financially, so most opt for cheating to escape their partner for at least a few hours. Marriage really ties men up, huh?
In the case of women, again it builds over time. She notices you start taking it easy on the meals and sugar. Then she notices you start running out of breath faster. Then one of your t-shirts no longer fits. She also sees you struggling to make ends meet, you haven’t added a single cent to your savings account for months. But she’s understanding, life gets in the way, she’s disappointed, but understands.
Then the real descent begins. After a particularly hard discussion you let some hurtful words out of your mouth. Immediately you know you there’s no going back. But after talking for a while she endures it and everything goes back to “normal”. This normal means she’s been successfully distracted from your hurtful words, not that she has forgiven you or that she forgot you said it. These instances start piling up and when she reaches the tipping point, she mentally checks out. She plans her exit, and starts thinking even being alone is better than being with a broke fatty who treats her like shit.
Your value in her eyes is just too low, she can’t physically stand being with you. She probably can’t even stand you touching her or talking to her in a caring or authoritative manner.
Symptoms of these include not wanting sex, being rebellious and increasing arguments.
What to do?
Don’t let this happen to you, be aware that the woman seeing the man as having too low value is the case for the majority of breakups or divorces. Familiarity slowly decreases your value in her eyes, so you can’t afford to stay still, always keep increasing your value.
This way, if she wants to stay at your side she’ll follow and increase her value as well. Even if she doesn’t and you two end up breaking up due to scenario #1, you’ll have plenty of ladies (who by definition are better than her) eager to date you.
New readers:
My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here.
My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
“Introvert Game” is a guide that will help you attain a deeper understanding of your personality as an introvert and figuring out how to seduce women by playing to your strengths rather than trying to swim upstream using guides designed for extroverts. You can buy it Here.
Photo Credits: Christian Lue