This week I got a glimpse of how life looks like for a high school chad.
I was in dire need of hiring a photographer for a private event and I was hoping a friend of mine could cover it. This is a guy who for the entirety of our college years struggled between exploiting his incredible potential as an engineer and pursuing his “passion” for photography.
Naturally, we don’t hang out as often as we used to, so in my mind he was still “the photography guy”. When I invited him to cover the event I talked to him in a happy mood, joking as if college had been yesterday, but to my surprise I was received with contempt (???), coldness and ended up with a “we’ll see”.
Turns out that while I kept climbing the corporate ladder, getting fit, learning how to get girls and launching a few side hustles, he was watching. Forever stuck in his dilema of wanting to pursue his passion but never giving it a real shot, wanting to see the world but never leaving our hometown, wanting to experience love but never cutting ties with the girl(s) who friend zoned him years ago.
And then it hit me.
This is how high school chads feel about nerds who resent them and think “this motherfcker has had it too good for too long to have the audacity to come to me and ask for a favor”. And all I could think about was “What. A. Fcking. Drag. Having to deal with these kind of guys”
In that spirit, I wrote a list of traumas we as men need to let go if we want to live truly happy lives (and get higher quality women and relationships of course):
1) Growing up Blue-Pilled
I have shared in the past that I grew up as a “nerd”. Sure, I had a band and a girlfriend in high school, but I was never one of the cool guys. And I think that it is precisely at this age where a great divide occurs: the natural chad learns everything he needs to know about women because he gets all the practice he could ever ask for, while the natural nerd just watches from the side lines, scratching his head asking himself “why do girls like douchebags?”
If this was you at some point, there’s no shame in admitting it. I was this guy, I had a girlfriend in high school who I intended to marry and move cities for (thankfully my father made me see reason), and when we broke up I simped my way through college. Eventually I got serious about learning how to get girls and stopped embarrassing myself.
A lot of guys go through this: 1) sucks at getting girls, 2) finds game/the red pill and 3) either puts in the effort to fix his problem or becomes “aware” with zero results.
One part that is seldom fixed though is the “need to show ’em” that develops due to not being cool in high school. This is late bloomers showing up to the school reunion 10 years later in a lambo with a bombshell glued to their arm with the full intention of flexing and looking down on their peers. The revenge of the nerds. Please let go of this absurd fantasy, it screams insecurity and overcompensation. This is coming from a guy who used to fantasize about this.
2) Being Short
I haven’t personally struggled with this issue, but I have met guys who have and took entirely different attitudes about it.
Guy #1 was short and all he wanted to do was go unnoticed. He was quiet, shy and discreet. He eventually learned from guy #3, but I can only imagine all the self inflicted pain he went through during the years prior.
Guy #2 was in complete denial and was obsessed with the gym. He had sick biceps, but whenever someone joked about his height he would lash out and almost always get physical. (hehe dwarf maxxinggg)
Guy #3 was a womanizer. He realized he couldn’t do anything about his height so he focused on having fun and girls loved him for it. He sat in girls’ laps, teased them and always knew how to take a joke. I have never thought of him as a short guy simply because he never saw himself that way.
Girls avoid guys #1 and #2, not because they’re short per se, but rather because of the insecurity they reek of. It’s like men avoiding girls who have tattoos: you don’t avoid her because the tattoo is ugly but rather because of what it means (ran through, daddy issues, possible and very likely STDs, abortions, etc). The same way, when girls notice this behavior they think things like “ugh, I’ll never be able to wear heels without calming him down and reassuring him he’s enough first”. Be like guy #3 and go enjoy your life.
3) Growing up Poor
This is one I haven’t completely fixed, but it’s incredibly important to do so.
If you want to see an example, I recommend watching the movie “The Greatest Showman”. The protagonist, P.T. Barnum, grows up poor and asks for the hand of a rich girl. The girl’s parents look down on him and while on the surface he seems to brush it off, as the movie goes on it becomes obvious that he’s trying to become a part of the upper class.
Once he organizes a fancy show for the rich, his father in law goes to congratulate him and instead of gracefully accepting the compliment, P.T. Barnum lashes out with an attitude of “you never believed in me and I am here now, making you eat your words!”. The most interesting part of this is the father in law just rolling his eyes and quietly going away.
Old money doesn’t care about the struggles of new money. In the same manner, girls who have been high value (hot) their whole lives, don’t care about the struggles of guys who had to build their own value.
Let go of any resentment related to this, or it’ll keep you from fitting in the circles you want to fit in.
In my twitter account and on my blog I tell you what to do. In my books, I tell you how to do it:
My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here.
My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
My third book, “Guide to Date Latinas” will teach you how to meet, date and sleep with latinas, their psychology and specific quirks. It has all the insights you need to find latinas in your country, safely visit Latin America and relocating for the long-term if you choose to do so. You can get it Here.
“Introvert Game” is a guide that will help you attain a deeper understanding of your personality as an introvert and figuring out how to seduce women by playing to your strengths rather than trying to swim upstream using guides designed for extroverts. You can buy it Here.
If you’re ready to make a real change in your dating life, book a one-hour call with me Here