Hypergamy is the base layer of attraction from which everything else stems out from.
Its principles are simple: in order for a girl to be attracted to you, she has to look up to you. She can’t genuinely be attracted (let alone follow and submit) to a guy who is less competent than her.
What benefit is there for her to stick around a dude who earns less money than her, is in worse shape than her and doesn’t know how to take care of himself? It sounds like adopting a child.
She wants a man she can admire. Someone who can lead her into a more competent and interesting world than what she already knows. Someone who any guy trying to harass her would be afraid to piss off. Someone who makes her feel dumb without trying.
Yet, girls know that if the spread is too huge she won’t be able to retain him, and even misbehave if he stays, because “how would such a magnificent man waste himself with a piece of shit?” (beware of this kind of girls, they’ll auto sabotage themselves every time), which is why girls try to climb the hypergamy ladder themselves, in an effort to be attractive to high(er) value men.
Note: Of course, we men don’t care about how many degrees a girl has or how much she earns *if* she isn’t attractive. That’s the first filter and if she can’t pass it then the rest is irrelevant. But assuming she does pass it, a well educated girl with money is always better than a dumb, broke girl (in this scenario let’s assume they’re twins and have the same personality).
In my opinion this is how the ladder looks like, from the lowest level (first) to the highest (last):
You’re Fitter or more social than her
You’re either more physically attractive than her or more social (or both), doesn’t matter, the point is that you have a desirable trait she doesn’t have. This scenario is quite common in high school or college since money usually isn’t a factor, it’s all about looks and status. Status in these years means being popular, for example if she’s a shy girl and you have an ample circle of friends and you’re the leader there.
But it also applies for later stages in life, if you’re both earning similar income you’ll want to one-up her in at least one of these areas or she’ll likely lose interest quickly. For example if you’re working similar jobs, she’ll want to flex that out of all employees earning the same, she’s dating “the hot one” or from the social one, “the alpha”.
You earn more money than her
If you both work for a living, the spread in income needs to be quite large for her to be considered “lucky” to be with you even if she’s more physically attractive than you. For example, she’s an 8 (hot and beautiful) and earns enough income to live by herself. In this scenario to be considered you’re better off than her you would need to be at least a male 7 (not fat not anything spectacular about you, simply that she’s not embarrassed to be seen with you) and earn at least enough to take care financially for a family, which is usually 2-3X the median income (For example you would be earning $100k USD/yr in the US, $65k MXN/m in Mexico).
This is the point at which most couples top out, the guy is making a good salary and the girl is pretty and doing an easy job or not working after they have children.
You have a higher position than her
This is kind of an extension from the previous scenario. When girls do quite well, for example if they work as software engineers AND are physically more attractive than you (we’re analyzing this scenario because who cares about ugly/fat girls doing lots of money?) you need to level up in the remaining aspect: status. Being popular in a social circle or in the club is one thing, but being her manager is quite another. It implies you’ve already walked the path she’s walking right now and came out in first place.
You are a business owner and she’s an employee
Being a business owner is more high-status than any job, and this is because at this point you’re playing a whole different game. Being a young, single manager is the absolute peak of the middle class, but as a business owner you just made the jump to play in the upper-class ladder/game. It’s a transition most people will never be able to do in their lifetimes (free alpha: this boils down to fear and risk tolerance, if you want to learn more I suggest reading “How to get rich” by Felix Denniss), and she’s attracted to that boldness/courage and the power that independence implies (not taking orders from anyone).
Just remember that if you quit to *start* a business without any prior experience you’ll probably make around $5 in the beginning, which means you’re back at the lower levels of this hypergamy ladder (earning less than her). It’s better to start a side hustle while working and only quit once that business makes more than your current job (or if you can sell it and hit it big, of course). No girl working at Google wants to get stuck financially supporting her “bold” boyfriend who is trying to change the world with their unprofitable facebook for dogs idea.
You are rich, fit and social and she’s a successful business owner
Getting to the crème de la crème of society, a girl who is a successful business owner, meaning a real business with call option (eventually be able to sell it and never have work again) not like putting nails or similar, and is also attractive will only find happiness with a guy who is rich, fit and social.
Following the same line of logic as the manager, this implies you were walking the same path she was and came out a winner. You got the experience, the talent and the good fortune, you’re her senior. But you’re not some old fart who barely got out alive, no, you’re fresh, in your 30s, muscular. This means you’re both in similar ground on the looks side of the equation. If you add a fun/social/popular aspect to your personality she definitely looks up to you since rich, fit guys who also are fun are probably the 0.001%.
You are a spiritual leader and she’s a hot, rich girl
In this scenario let’s imagine a girl that was born with rich parents and spent all her life getting hot, or one that somehow got rich before ~23-25 (with a business, not being an OF thot).
imo, the only way to keep around a girl who is so up the ladder is by being a spiritual leader. Something where money can’t help, for example in a James Bond movie girls usually refer to him as being the only one who can protect them. In Peaky Blinders Ada falls for the leader of the communist revolution. In this scenarios the girl has everything the world has to offer, so she has to look for something bigger, something where the “earthly” possessions don’t matter.
My first book, “The Game of Casual Dating” is a guide that will teach you how to go from getting 0 girls to meeting, dating and sleeping with girls you find attractive by building a solid foundation of social skills. No rehearsed lines, no deceiving, no sketchy tricks. Just pure skill and female psychology knowledge. You can buy it Here.
My second book, “The Art of Building Highly Addictive Relationships” is a guide that will teach you which girls are worth keeping around and how to build relationships with them in which they can’t get enough of you. You can buy it Here.
“Introvert Game” is a guide that will help you attain a deeper understanding of your personality as an introvert and figuring out how to seduce women by playing to your strengths rather than trying to swim upstream using guides designed for extroverts. You can buy it Here.
Photo Credits: Yang miao