Inner game refers to how you view yourself and how you perceive the things that happen to you.
You’ve probably heard girls like confident guys. This is because confidence is built on prior performance: the first time you work on a task, you’re probably nervous, since you don’t know what to expect; you may have been given some instructions, but you haven’t actually experienced completing this task before.
After completing the same task a few times though, you probably don’t feel as nervous as before since now you know the task is something you’re capable of doing, and every time you complete the task, you feel more confident in yourself.
A confident guy then, is a guy that has been there before and knows what he’s doing, since he has succeeded several times.
That’s good inner game when it comes to dating: seeing yourself as capable of chatting up a stranger, getting a date with her and having a great time the first time you go out.
So how do you actually get to the point where you can see yourself as someone capable of doing this?
The prerequisite that many people don’t think about is that you first need to see yourself as someone worthy of being dated. Make a list of 20 reasons why you’re awesome, they don’t have to be overly serious, we’re not making a cv here, but do try to put in the reasons why someone would like to date you.
For example, I would write that I’m good at making people feel comfortable, usually they talk to me about their problems to ask my point of view, I have a good job as a software engineer, so I could provide a good quality of life for a future family, and I take good care of my body, so I’m fit and healthy.
After you see yourself in a more positive light, you’re ready to take the most difficult step: going from 0 to 1. That is, getting your first win, or completing the task for the first time.
In order to not get discouraged if your first attempt is not successful, think about it like this: You’re the product and you’re also the salesman. Some people will want to buy, and most won’t, but you have to make the offer to all of them to see who are the ones who will buy. It’s a numbers game, so success for you is making the attempt, failure is not even trying.
This way it becomes almost like a game: you see a cute girl on the street and you have the option of doing nothing (failure) or approaching her to make conversation (success). The outcome of that conversation doesn’t matter, because your metric is if you made the attempt or not.
Eventually, someone will agree that you’re awesome because of all the reasons you described before and even some that you were not aware of and you’ll get your first win. After that, the confidence you get from your first win will help you get your second win. 1 becomes 2, 2 becomes 4 and 4 becomes 8, building up your inner game along the way.
New Readers: If you’re just starting your journey, you should read Live Intentionally: Discipline, Mindset, Direction – A 90 Day Self-Project. The basis of attracting beautiful women is becoming a high value man and you can’t become one if you’re full of bad habits. Live Intentionally teaches you exactly how to weed them out and become the best version of yourself. This is the first step towards a life of abundance, your foundation.
Photo Credits: Ruthson Zimmerman